And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
