She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
