I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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