so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
