Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
