Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
