wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
