We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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