a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
