Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
