My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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