grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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