i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
PANTIES FOUND
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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