The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
