Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
There's always time for handjobs
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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