God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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