Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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