i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
