I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
