After last night, I could never be a politician.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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