well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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