marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My bed smells like the plague
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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