Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Farmville is her only friend.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
