New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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