just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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