Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
