D3 body, D1 cock
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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