You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
