Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
