You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
