he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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