I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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