Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
