with your own penis?
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
