There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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