Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
