i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
