yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
