her vagine was all disorganized.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
