I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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