Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
