please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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