Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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