Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
