you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
