I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
