i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
