summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
