You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
