it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
