forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
