that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
