Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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