All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
