yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
