Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
