the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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