I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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