UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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