I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
